I don't understand why people are so disingenuous! I just want someone to walk with! Explanation [ edit ] Enjoying "long walks on the beach" is a romantic activity stereotypically associated with dating; specifically, it is commonly listed as an interest in dating advertisements and, more recently, online dating profiles. Transcript [ edit ] [A computer monitor displays the profile of a man named Randall on an online dating site.
His profile contains a picture of a spiky-haired man and some text, which is rendered as dialogue in the panels.
Hi, my name is Randall. I like candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach. But we'll be out there barely an hour before they start in with "I'm tired" and "Don't you think it's time we head back? I also did add a link to the lyrics. Retrieved from " https: Views Read Edit View history. When I say it's "racist," I really just mean, "There's something wrong with it. For doubtless fascinating psychological readings, my libido happens to be hardwired to prefer extremely pale people.
If I specify that preference, am I being racist against white-but-not-really people too , or am I just not wasting the damn time of everyone I'm incapable of being sexually attracted to by pretending otherwise? And even if we were to admit that that's racist and presumably sizeism and agism don't matter , presumably we must also admit that expressing a preference to date only women if you happen to be attracted to women is for the same reason sexism, period. And then there's sexual orientation Well I got to a certain age, where most or all of the men were divorced. And you quickly figure out why.
Fall in love and get married when you're young. It doesn't get any easier. Don't put it off. My bro met his wife from the newspaper personal ads. She placed a short ad.
She had him at "like classical music and football. Hey, it's a strategy. We're teaching her daughter that now. Cerebrate, Equating only being attracted to "extremely pale white people" with only being attracted to women seems like a bit of a stretch. The former is, in my opinion, one of two things: The latter is an unavoidable part of your physiology. As far as admitting it, I agree that if you have such a bias, it would be better to let potential partners know in advance.
But I'm not going to tell you that I think that narrowing your range of potential partners based on such a specific and shallow precondition is something I would deem as non-prejudiced. As far as "sizeism" goes, it's pretty well-documented that a lot of people do in fact have a problem with it, so I'm not sure why you're assuming it doesn't matter. Wanting to date someone who's healthy and active makes sense to me, specifying a waist to hip ratio or an exact weight is creepy and, yes, probably equatable to specifying a race.
I've already explained how I feel about "ageism". I've always hated that term when it is applied to stuff like this.
She says on the advice blog for the dating site Plenty of Fish that the problem is that these words I enjoy long walks on the beach at sunset. Hi, my name is Don, I enjoy long walks on the beach, deep conversation, holding hands, romance novels, pruning the garden, skinny dipping and piggy-back.
It's totally unrelated to issues like size and race. There are plenty of things that change about people when they become older and there is no reason why someone shouldn't rule out partners who are the age of their parents, or vice-versa. Even if you're talking about someone older who wants to date someone much younger, I can see the reasoning and impulse behind that much clearer than I can see a non-discriminatory basis for ruling out a specific race. To elaborate on why ageism is different to me: When you say you would "never" want to date someone outside of a certain race or size, or height , I believe one of two things or both is going on.
Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it was a big waste of time for two people now not just me. June 01, samaBlog said How about the "average" or "athletic" body type? Ok I didn't specify a height, just that I like guys taller than me I'm 5'6". Like the 10 stating their specific height requirement and being so dead set on that requirement. Permit me to do an impromptu informal survey In other words, I don't think a black person who has only dated black people -- probably because their social circle is fairly segregated, as are a lot of people's -- is prejudiced.
Either you genuinely can't imagine yourself ever being sexually or romantically attracted to someone outside of your ideal. IMO, this kind of fetishism belies subconscious prejudice. But let's say you're my age 26 and you say you don't want to date someone over One of those same things could be your motivation, in which case, yeah, you're prejudiced against old people.
But your motivation could be any number of other things.
Maybe you're a man and you want to have children with your partner. Perhaps you would feel outmatched in life experience and that is too much of an interpersonal difference no, I don't think that different races will inherently or even often have the same level of interpersonal differences that people 25 years apart in age do to overcome. Or you don't want your partner to likely die 30 years before you do.
Or you're afraid with valid reason that your partner will be less able to 'perform' sexually than you are, especially as more time passes. I'm not saying I think people should have an age requirement. I have what I'd call an age preference, but if an incredibly attractive, interesting, and kind man outside of my "standard age range" had come along when I was single, I would have given it a shot.
But I just think there are reasons people who wouldn't consider it have that don't fall under any kind of prejudice. It's truly remarkable how many of these comments are about which preferences and attitudes are acceptable and which ones aren't. No wonder people don't feel safe to reveal anything true or real about themselves in their profiles -- except, of course, the ones who really are nothing but mindless, politically correct conformists Yet more proof that political correctness is a relentless destroyer of everything that is genuinely human -- starting with honesty and freedom.
We know a couple who work for Lockheed-Martin, both engineers. One would think I would be deluged with responses to my ads but no. I think short guys want to date taller women to prove they can do it. I wouldn't rule out tall guys per se, but As a 43 y o woman, married, I cracked up reading this. I have read those stupid postings with girlfriends and yes, they are as cliched as they seem. I think most people just aren't honest enough to tell the truth about who they are and what they want, mostly out of fear that others will judge them harshly.
Crap, ignore the second half of that last comment of mine, or mentally rewrite it with justified ageism in the relevant spot.
FYI, you're free to edit the comment yourself. All you have to do is copy and paste the part you like into a new comment, post the comment, then delete the old comment. Equating only being attracted to "extremely pale white people" I phrased that the way I did for a reason. While white people are more or less implied by the normal ranges of human skin tones, albinos of all races and ethnys could have also applied.
Hey, if we're going to go down this road, then I must point out that researchers from Kinsey onwards have pointed out that very few people indeed are pure obligate heterosexuals or pure obligate homosexuals the 'extreme fetishists' of this scenario. Or, rather, not for the team. As for your reasons for why an age preference is different I can think of reasons for why my preference isn't a prejudice, therefore it's fine. But I can't - because a I'm not them and b my imagination won't stretch to it - think of reasons why their preference isn't a prejudice, and I am predisposed to think of it as one.
Therefore it can't be anything else.
This is, of course, itself a prejudice. Missed the deletion button the first few times around, somehow. My comment about age concerns widening your age range and saying that you're open to dating someone 15 or 20 years older or younger, not limiting your range. If you say that you'll date someone of a specific race, so what?
Are we to the point of enacting some anti-discrimination measures for social interaction now too? Freedom of association's such a quaint old-fashioned notion, isn't it? Look, I'm not evoking the law here.
I'm not suggesting that people who state a racial preference be burned at the stake. I'm simply saying that I don't see how someone can claim that they don't have a racial bias yes, I am defining 'racism' as having a bias against certain races -- whether you agree with that definition or not is really just semantics and not worth a separate argument and then exclude all races but their own or any specific race from their pool of potential partners.
As I've already stated, having a preference that you are drawn to naturally doesn't bother me, making a rule out of it -- "I would never, ever date a black person" -- is racist.
I'm not trying to take away your freedoms, I'm just having an opinion about them. I've dated plenty of people from races other than my own and none of them had "completely different" cultures or "life values.
You do realize that many people of different races are born in the USA and that schools are no longer segregated, right? You seem to be equating race directly with class or religion, which is, well, racist. Sorry, but it seems contradictory for you to state that people of different races have completely different values than your own and then take me to task for using the term racism.